Roy L. Harbin : The DANG - DInGIE American aka,, The Evil White Man

Wee!Gee! prt4 by Roy Harbin

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FIFOII - prt1
FIFOII? part 2
Wee!Gee! Intro
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Wee!Gee! prt 4
Wee!Gee!prt 6
Wee!Gee! prt38

Wee!Gee! part four by Roy L. Harbin

   Giggling,,yeah,,like a school girl,,Melissa followed close behind me through the living room where John was waking up with a befuddled look on his face to which I said as I passed,,"Don't mind the hollering,John,,everythings fine.I'll be back in a little while and wake you up,,okay?"

   As I urged Melissa out the door first I turned to watch Johns eyes focus on me briefly,,then his head nodded,,kind of like one of those 'bobble headed dogs' you see in the back windows of old peoples cars.He sort of said,,"okay,,,see ya." and his head continued one more arc,,all the way down.The blonde haired girl laying on the couch said,, "mm,nd'uzza,,bechett,, ahcay?"

   I shut the door and headed for my car,,saying into the streetlamp lit dark that my eyes hadn't quite adjusted to yet,,"Is that door unlocked?" "I'm in." came back from the direction of the car as I could hear the three in the kitchen continue their melee.Getting in and cranking it up,,I put the car in reverse,backed out a little,,then going around Johns car,,I cut through to the back and left out the alley,,it was closer that way.And,,we could get a glimpse in the kitchen window at the struggling trio.As we did,Melissa stared laughing and said,"Wait untill I tell her sister,,just the other day the were arguing over who got dumber when drinking,,I think Amandas in the lead with this." , "You mean,,like it was a good thing to be the dumber of the two?" , "Yep." , "Aww,,no,,really?" Then,,seeing the freezer open,,I said,"Uh,oh,,they're after the Absolut allready,,we better hurry."

   It only took a few minutes to get to the ABC where I hopped out and told Melissa,,"I'll be quick." then quickstepped in,,grabbed another small bottle of Absolut,a pack of Eriks,,a case of Bush,tangerine juice for the Absolut and a new deck of cards.While standing at the counter waiting to pay for it,,I noticed and picked up an issue of The Weekly World News.I buy them all the time,,I call them my weekly chuckle.

   In another minute or so,,I was back at the car putting the stuff on the front seat.The News Rag peeking out the top caught Melissas eye and she said as she took it out and started looking at it,,"I love these things,,my dad buys them all the time.He says they are funnier that t.v. sitcoms." , "Really?I call them my weekly chuckle and rarely miss an issue.I have a big stack of them in my closet." We both laughed at that.Yet,from the look she gave me that I caught out of the corner of my eye as I cranked up the car and took off,, I got the distinct impression she was pleased over more than the mag.

   The ride back was filled with her trying to read the mag in the light from streetlamps,building fromts and flashing car lights.I asked her what she liked to mix her Absolut with,,and to my complete surprise she said,,"Tangerine juice,,but I'll settle for 7-up or Sprite.I really don't like orange or grapefruit juice with any liquor.But since you got Bush,,I'll just drink some beer." , "Well,,believe it or not,,you just said,,allmost word for word,,what I usually say." , Reaching into the bag,,I pulled out the tangerine juice and showed it to her. "I was thinking I would introduce you to something new,,but,,no need to now."

   I hadn't thought her smile could get any brighter or prettier.But it did.

   Even though the ride back was longer than going,,it was too short.In way too little time I had parked at the back of the house and we were stepping into a now quiet kitchen.The chairs at the table were pulled out,there was two beer cans and a small tumbler with a couple of ice cubes in it sitting on the table.We could here the stereo on and some weird techno,,new wave,,or something else that Mike was notorious for liking coming from the speakers.

   As I was putting the beer and such away,,John came in and said,,"Hey man,,that blonde puked on me,,do you have a shirt I can borrow?" Pulling my head out of the fridge,,I almost put my face against Johns,,vomit splattered chest.The smell slapped me and I simultaneously back up,,pushed his shoulder to get him away,said "Ewww,dude,,back up when you have puke all over you!",,and remembered the 'road kill odour' from the ouijie board box.

   Shutting the fridge then grabbing the Absolut and ice from the freezer while putting the smaller one behind some frozen things I told John,,"Sure,,go hop in the shower dude,,get that crap off ya." , "I'm waiting for Mike and that girl,,what's her name,,uh,,well,,they're in the shower now." , "Here,,have a Bush and stand over there,,you smell like that ouijie board you left here." , " Thanks,,I couldn't believe it,,I woke up with that girl,,what's her name?",, "Cindy",said Melissa.,," oh,,yeah,,Cindy was sitting on me with the anaconda out." , "What?No way,really?" , "Cindy?" , "Yeah,,no shit man,,and the snake was awake,,she looked at me and said,,"I've wanted me a little of this for awhile,,opened her mouth and ,," he swallowed real hard,,looked around and finished with,,"puked all over me.I think I need some pants too."

   Me and Melissa were laughing so hard we both had tears rolling down our cheecks before I could respond with clear enough words to tell him sure.We had the tangerine juice still out,,I grabbed a couple of glasses and Melissa began mixing drinks. John cracked his Bush and took a few big swallows,belched and said,,"Man,,that goes down like water." , "Taking the drink Melissa handed me,,I took a big swallow,,tasted a well mixed drink,,looked at her and said,,"This is even better.Good mix girl,,that's nice." , "I've drank a few,,I'm glad you like it." , "It'll go good with a big ol fattie,,come on,John,,let's go find you some clothes."

   Leading the way to my room I told John,"Take your shirt off and drop it in front of the bathroom door,John." Giggling then saying,"Maybe she'll step in her puke,,heehee.",he pulled his shirt over his head then layed it out vomit side up right in front of the door behind from which came sounds of running water and the muffled voices of Mike and Cindy.

   Looking at Melissa with a disgusted role of my eyes and a wrinkled lip,,I said,,eeewww and unlocked my bedroom door.Stepping in I hit the light switch which turned on the lights in the fan placed in the center of the ceiling.I opened my closet and grabbed a few shirts on their hangers and tossed them on my bed as Melissa came in followed by the bobbling drunk John.

   Melissa sat in one of the chairs I had on the far side of the room past my bed and continued looking at the Rag Mag in the better light as John started to look at the shirts.Stepping over I spread the shirts so he could see them with out touching them and said,"Just pick one,,don't touch them till you get clean,dude." , "'kay,,uh,,the red one,then." Picking the others back up I put them back in the closet,,then grabbed a few pairs of jeans and spread them out like I did the shirts.He asked,,"What size are you?" , "38,,you're gonna be a little baggy butted."

   That made Melissa giggle.John said that they all looked a like so I just picked up all but one and put them back.I shut my closet door and dropped to my kness,reached under my night table and pulled out my stash box.Standing up I heard the bathroom door open and Mike holler,,"Ohhh,eeewww,John,,did you have to put it right there?!" , "I'm gonna wash it out when I shower her vomit off me,,okay,,sorry YOU stepped in it,,I wanted her to,dude." As Mike heel stepped back in the bathroom,,Cindy came around him and stepped square on the vomity shirt,said 'ooooh,grooosss!" Looked an evil look at John then turned and followed Mike,slamming the door behind her.

   John hopped in the air pumping his fist while shouting "Yes,,score!",came back down to his feet,unevenly,be-bobbled against the wall,,then hit the floor forehead first.Saying 'oh,shit' simultaneously,,Melissa and I both headed for John,,I got there first as he flopped over on his back and I could see his chest and stomach going in and out erratically.He had his hands over his face but I could see the edges of his chind,jaws and forehead all looked blotchy and puffed with the veins on his neck standing out sharply.

   He dropped his hands and sucked in a big breath then let out a burst of unadulterated laughter.Guffaws actually,,with some hoots too.I started laughing too,,relieved he hadn't got hurt,,it looked like he could have took some damage.So was Melissa,,she laughd just a little then went to the bed,sit down,spread out the Mag Rag in froont of ther and wnt back to perusing it.

   I went and sat in one of the chairs next to the table and began to roll one up.John got up,,came in the room and turned on the tv.Having some allready cleaned in the tin I used,,it only took me a minute or so to twist one up.Lighting it,,I took a few starter hits then held it out to Melissa who bounced across the bed to my side of it and took it eagerly from my fingers.She handed it back to me,,I looked at Johns drunk face lit in profile by the tv screen and just handed it abck to her a couple of times then had to say his name three times before he turned slowly away from the tv to look at the offered spliff.Smiling,,he took it and I drained my drink in a couple of more swallows,,stood up and asked Meslissa if she wanted another one.She said,,"yes" handed me her glass but by the time I got to the bedroom ddor she was right behind me and said she would like to mix the drinks.Handing her the glasses I said,"Well,allrighty,,thanx,,you did do that first one well." Smiling she just turned and headed off.As I wastched her butt go away,the door to Dales room at the far end of the hall opened.Dale looked out,,then as Melissa went around the corner,,he scampered,,anked,,to the bathroom door,,jiggled the locked door,,said 'damn' and scuttled back.The door he had left opened showed a view of candles placed about the place whic I looked at instead of his dangling self while I said in a real loud voice,"Naked Dale in the hall!" and chased him into his room with an 'awwwhhaaa'.

   Turning back in and taking the hooter from John,,who had evidently been standing behind me laong enough to at least witness Dales shiny heinie scamper back into his open doored room since he said while holding his toke,,"Those two are still doing that seance sex shit,dude,,that's frikkin weird.!Maybe you shouldn't have,," pausing to release his loaded lungs and take the doob back from me,,he coughed a bit then continued as I walked back to the table and sat down with,,"Maybe you shouldn't have given it to him,,that just seems like something ya shouldn't do,,mix hoodoo with sex." , "I didn't give it to him,,I threw it away.Well,I left it on top of the garbage cans out back and I thought the trashman took it.Later,,Dale had it."

   "Really?","Yeah,,and what the hell was all over it when you gave it to me?It smelled like something dead,dude.What was that all about?" , "Huh?I don't know.I didn't do nothing to it,,I just wanted to get rid of it.I don't like that stuff."

   Taking the jernt back and hitting it while saying,,"Really?Well,it smelled rank and I put it on the trash cans as soon as I got it from you.Later Dale had it,,I thought it was gone,,well before you told me about youur sister."Handing it back I continued with,"And you won't believe this but an old lady at work,,you remember me telling you about that old black lady that runs the numbers there?",,and let out my hit as he said "Yeah" from around a mouthful of burning hog leg. "Well,she told me about a dream she had that was about a lady on an island fighting things,locking them up,then getting sick and sending something to her brother to give to 'The White Indian' to get rid of it,dude!" , "No shit?!", "Really,,and it freaked me out,man." , "No shit?"

   As he asked ,"no shit?" a couple of more times,I kept nodding my head as I took a last couple of quick hits and roached out the doob then started rolling another for when Melissa came back.The sound of Cindys voice asking Mike which door was his room frm the hall prompted me to say,"You better get in there before Dale does.You stink allmost as bad as that box did.Uggh,,go on,hurry!"

   Jumping up and grabbing the levis off the foot of my bed he bounded into the hall,narrowly missing Melissa as she came back in with our two fresh drinks.She smiled real big as I looked at the much bigger glasses she had gotten to replace the first ones and said,"I washed the others out,,but I thought less trips to refill woud be better.That okay?" , "Yeah,,that's great.That way I get to see your face more." Smiling and turning my head to continue twisting one up,I purposely didn't see her reaction.That way she could feel more free in it with out me looking at her.She was shy,,but working so hard at not showing it.

   She sat down opposite me at the table then bounced over onto the bed to reach across and grab the Mag Rag from where she had left it earlier.Yes,,giving me a nice view of her butt,,er her body in the process.Yes,,she was working hard at overcoming her shyness and it seemed to be working.Of course,,there was 'no telling how many hits off the Absolut she took while mixing the drinks,,nor how strong she mixed hers' I thought as I noticed a really strong smell of alcohol waft across my nose.Ahh,alcohol,,the young mans wing man,,don't ya love it when the girls use it too?

   "And now,," my internal diologue segued into verbal expression,,"to start a fire to complement the drinks." Sitting back in the chair she said,,"That's some tasty weed." , I could only reply,,"Yeah it is." as I lit the fresh spliff and took a few starter hits then handed it to her.I got up to turn the tv to a different station and seen a repeat of Dales scuttle to the bathroom and hollered,"Naked Dale in the hall!" But this time his 'damn!' was followed by being chased out the hall into the other part of the house by an 'aaawwhaaa',presumably to go pee outside.I hollered out,,"Turn the porch light off first,Dale!" as I looked down the hall at the candles burning in his room.Thinking,,"I'll worry with it later." I then turned and sat back down with Melissa at the table.

(intro) (prt1) (prt2) (prt3) (prt4) (prt5) (prt6) (prt7) (prt8) (prt9) (prt10) (prt11) (prt12) (prt13) (prt14) (prt15) (prt16) (prt17) (prt18) (prt19) (prt20)


Roy L. Harbin:The DANG - DInGIE American agrees with Robert Heinlein,,,'specialization is for insects'.And who want's to run with a pack of flea bitten butt sniffing mangey mutts when they can stay on the porch with the food and folks?
Hey,,you could run on over to and check out what I'm building over there.

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