Roy L. Harbin : The DANG - DInGIE American aka,, The Evil White Man

Wee!Gee! prt 5 by Roy L. Harbin

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Wee!Gee! part five by Roy L. Harbin 

  "Got a light?", Mike asked as he came in through the open door with a cigarette hanging from his 'droopy drunk' lips.He was shuffling like the rum loving old grounds keeper at the club does by quiting time,without hardly picking up his feet at all,,making a scuth,scuth sound.I call it 'trash foot treading'.Picking up the bic lighter laying on the table I held it out lit to his cigarette.

  While he puffed it lit and took a drag on it he asked,,"Can you tell me,~puff~,,how come my girl friend,~drag,,exhale~ pukes on Johns crotch?" Looking at me with a dead drunk serious expression on his small,Polish descent face,,I said,,"Maybe she was trying to make the black snake moan.You know she's kinda freaky when she gets really drunk,,remember when I woke up with her in my bed,dude?",He laughed and said,,"Yeah,,she was really drunk that night,,but not drunk enought to puke was she?Naaaaw man,,I mean,,why me,,why was it MY gorlfreend that blows chunks on a friend of mine then passes out before she blows me,dude,,why me??" Dropping his head,turning around he bagan talking a stream of words like droopy the cartoon dog ,"it's allways my girl,not anyone elses that does it,no,just mine,and so she passes out,,mine,,no one elses," as he walked out the same way he came in,trash footed.

  "Hey,,Mike,," I said to the back of his head,,he stopped and turned slowly to look at me all sad puppy like."If it helps you to feel better,,theres a bunch of cold Busches in the fridge.He smiled and begean to turn around,,I said "Hey Mike",,he turned back,,"Then there's this too." He focused on the object in my hand as I made it move across his vision in a wavy left to right direction while saying,,'boss,boss,,maredie-jain,,maredi-jain!' His eyes popped open,,his spine straightened out and he said clearly while holding one finger up,,"I'll be right back after I get a beer." Then left out of the room with out a bit of sound from his feet scuffing the carpet.

  "And he's off!" I Laughed,stuck the hooter I had just played air jamaica with in my lips and flicked the bic still in my hand to life.Pulling the flame into the end of it in a long steady pull I smiled brightly at Melissas grinning cutey pie face.Handing it to her,,I looked at my clock on top of the tv and asked her,"Tv news or the radio?Or,," standing up and continueing with,"I have some albums and tapes if you like stuff like Van Halen,Styx,Boston,Blue Oyster Cult,Bad Company,Nazareth,Heart,Zeppelin,Floyd,?",I stepped toward the stereo on my dresser next to the tv.,,"Well,I like most of those",,she said cutting me off,,"but the radio is fine.","Okay.Go ahead a take a few tokes on that." I turned the tv volume down and flipped on the stereo,,and music blared out at about 110 decibels.Automatically dialing the volume all the way down with my thumb,I put both my pinkies in each ear and squirled them around,,took them out and said to the laughter coming from down the hall,,"Ha frikken ha ha,,Dale!" His laughter ceased after a long 'aahaaa' floated out of his closed room.

  "I hate it when my little brother does that to me." Melissa said from right behind me.I turned and took the offered spliff from her hand as she stepped an additional 6 inches in towards me.Looking up at me she asked,,"can you give shotguns?"

  Smiling big,I responded with,,"The question is sweetie,,can you take,,a shotgun?" She giggled and leaned in while saying,,seductively,,'yes,,oh yes,,the Absolut had kicked in!' my internal narrator crowed gleefully,,as she said,," I bet I can take what ever you can give." Those wonderful colored green eyes were looking at mine from about 10 inches away and even with the aroma of tangerine juice,Absolut,tobacco and weed,,the tantalizing fragrance I had smelled earlier during our bathroom meeting was still noticeably strong."but," she continued quickly,,"I had never heard of one untill about a week ago.So,,I should say,,I''ll try to." And she giggled in a relaxed self effacing way that made my heart soft,,as another part seemed to finally get the idea of what was going on outside it's still sweat soaked levi sanctuary and started considering getting hard."Nothing like a little honesty to start out with.You just take what you want and touch me when you want it to stop or just pull away or something,'kay?"

  She nodded with the smile still glowing and began exhaling as I inhaled deep and stuck the hooter in my mouth backwards while holding it by two fingers regular like and leaned in.I stopped,,pulled the doob out and said,,"Uh,,In case you haven't noticed,,I am still sweaty from dancing with a dish washing macine for the past few hours so be careful about getting too close,,I wouldn't want you to get my stink all over you." Quickly putting it back in I continued where I had stopped as she looked me dead in the eyes and said very matter of factly,,"I wouldn't mind it.It doesn't smell bad."

  With that she put her right hand on my shoulder and her left on my right lower rib cage while stepping in close enough to make thigh to thigh contact.I let go of the jernt and put my right hand on her elbow and my left on the top of her right hip,,right above the bone on that delectable curve you find on a 'fit' young woman.Bringing my head down to close the gap between her lips and the end of the spliff I began blowing through the doobie.

  She began breathing the smoke in with out taking her eyes off mine,which just tickled me plumb purple.I blew the smoke slowly,,but it was coming out thick,,it was some good herb,,and it must have been a little more than she thought it would be after it got in her lungs,,because she suddenly went 'erp' and closed her mouth while squeezing me into more of a hug like hold while she fought back a cough.Her eyes squinted all up and closed a brief nano second,,but she kept them on mine.

  Enjoying this emmensly,,I went ahead and softened into the ,,very nice embrace that resulted while she finally let it out and coughed and slight bit.By the time it ended,,the joint was out of my mouth,,her arms were around my waist,one of mine was on her shoulder blade and the other down across the small of her back with the still burning joint smoldering in my fingers.And best of all,,as her coughs subsided her head nestled against my chest and sort of snuggled a bit.Or she was wiping her nose on my still slightly sweaty tshirt.Either way,,it was as clear a signal as any man could ask for that the girl was liking me a good bit.I dropped my left hand to that nice curvy hip spot,put the joint on top of the tv and floated my hand to her back run under her shoulder blade,my thumb firmly against her rib cage,,just barely touching the beginning of the swell of her now attention absorbing,,oh so cute left boobie.That narrative voice in my head was saying something like 'ah,,boobs,,and she wants you to touch them,,doesn't she?' kind of telling it to shut up I looked into the adorable green eyes that she gazed up at me with now that her 'apparent ruse' had payed off,,because I wanted to hear what she was saying to me with those lips that were very kissable looking,,which was,,"Actually,,I had only seen Amanda take one from some guy last week,but it wasn't as bad as I thought to take a hit like that."

  Smiling,,kind of squeezing her a little closer against me,,which really couldn't happen since the encounter had turned into a full blown 'first hug with a kiss coming up' situation and she was as close as she could get,,but it did serve to let each other feel all the body parts better.Mine of course,,having become fully cognizant of the situations implications was very clearly butting it's head in,,or out,,how ever you want to say it,,it was poking it's nose into the situation.This of course made it quite obvious to Melissa how much I liked the turn of events.

  And she liked that I did.NO need for any internal diaolgue.I closed the gap and tasted her lips as the opening of the bathroom door cracked the silence which I had never filled by turning the stereos volume back up.Evidently,,someone had turned off the music innthe living room at some point.As that happened she stiffened a tad,,but continued the very pleasant lip sparring we were working into.A little tongue had allready peeped through her pretty teeth when Mikes voice rang out saying "Aww,John,,close your towel." Which caused me to break it off and say to the side loudly while looking down at her sweetly smiling beautiful face framed by the darl lustreous hair flowing down over her shoulders,,"John,,you took the pants with you,,put them on before you come out?No one needs to see that anaconda right now." She laughed and actually glanced over my shoulder down the hall.John evidently hadn't got the snake handled since Mike was making squeely sounds and saying in a squeely voice,,"Aaaahh,,a snake,,help,,kill it,,get a shovel,,help,,help!" Which was hilarious sounding to me.

  But,,Melissa was apparently unprepared for what she seen down the hall.Her eyes got wide,,with an actual scared look of what looked to me light horror and revulsion,,tinted with amazed incredulousness.She looked at me and said in a strained.allmost whispery,yet truthful sounding way,,"Oh gee,,that's scary.I never thought,,I,,oh my god,,that's too huge to use!What,,he,,he couldn't use it all.Well,,on me anyway.No way,,not me." Somehow,,I was comforted by that since my bodys restless counterpart,,which had definitly decided the time wasn't right to stick around,,in no way compared to such as John lugged around with him.Personally,,I couldn't imagine having such,,being told one does can feel great,,but carrying that much around all the time,,given the associated 'hang ups' that I have seen owners of such go through,,I am glad I ain't a big'un.Not that I am troublesoome small or nothing like that,,Thank God,,but I ain't one of those.

  Anyway,,the mood was broke,,but she continued to hold on to me as Mike evidently got pass the hall snake and walked past us to sit down,took a swallow of beer,belched a little and said,,"Hey,,I'd say,get a room,but this one's yours.You want me to go?Let me hit that doober a couple of times and I'm gone.Gee whiz ya'll,,everyone but me and John is getting some warm female attention tonight."

  Letting go of me,,sliding her hands off in a 'reluctant' sort of fashion.Yeah,,the phrase,,lingering,longingly,came to mind.She said to Mike,,"well,cuz,,according to my brother,,you and John could pair off,,if John was willing,,right?" "Hey,,you know your brother was lying about that camping trip,,I never even went.I wasn't there."

  "I know,Mike,,I was just teasing,,here." With that,she picked up the now extinguished remains of the hooter of the top of the tv and handed it to him.I asked incredulously to no one in particular but both of them in general,,"Cuz,??,are you actually cousins or are do you to just know each other that well?"

  I didn't get the answer to thqat right away because there was a sudden commotion from down the hall in Dales room.We could hear Amanda yelling something,,then the door burst open and she came storming out syaing,,"I want to go,,he don't want me here,,take me away.Now,,you dickless moron!" She stopped,,locked her wild looking eyes on me and started making a wierd little noise,kind of coming from the back of her throat.Her face was contorted and her hair was all messed up and looked like it was squirming around like snakes or something from the way she was moving her head in jerky little twichy motions.

  As Dale came out of the room behind her putting a shirt on,,John opened the bathroom door again.Dale grabbed her by the shoulders and stood in front of her asking 'What's wrong?What happened?" John looked at the trippy looking girl as she went on about someone going to cut her into pieces and burn her while staring at me for a moment,,then looked at me,back at the girl,back at me and mouthed the words,,'hoodoo and sex,,baaaaad',then pulled his head back into the bathroom and shut the door.I could hear the lock click clearly from where I was.

  I took that as a clue to a good idea.Stepping to the door of my room,,I shut the door.The last thing I seen was Amandas eyes as she kept saying,,He will do it!Him,,he's the one!The Pale Native!" They were wild looking,,they allmost seemed to look like they were all black,,with no discernable pupil,,or like the pupil had dilated to obscure all the color of the iris.And the light made it appear as though they were bright with a 'blackish light',,if that can be said.

  It creeped me out and gave me chills as if that 'hole to the Twilight Zone' was right behind me again,,completely invisible to Mike and Melissa looking at my back as I closed the door on the bizarre event.But on the verge of swallowing me alive anyway.

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Wee!Gee! ©RoyL.Harbin/2007®

Roy L. Harbin:The DANG - DInGIE American agrees with Robert Heinlein,,,'specialization is for insects'.And who want's to run with a pack of flea bitten butt sniffing mangey mutts when they can stay on the porch with the food and folks?
Hey,,you could run on over to and check out what I'm building over there.

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